So check this out youngins….the other night after gorging on a healthy helping of Thai food my surrogate older brother and I took in a movie by the name of District 9. Now like many movie buffs/nerds I knew all about this film, read the reviews, and was secretly geeked to see it. So when my surrogate brother, whom we’ll call “Corey,” asked me to go with him I was all in. As we walked through the doors looking like two people that escaped from some circus freak show (seeing as how I’m 4’11” and he’s just a few inches shy of being twice my size), we strapped in to enjoy what would turn out to be a very racist ride.
So let me get this straight: these “aliens” arrived in this country called South Africa…on this thing called a “ship” (a mothership that is), and were put in a weird concentration camp that turned into somewhat of a “slum” or “ghetto” if you will, due to overcrowding. 20 years later, said “aliens” are roaming all up and thru separated from the white people in South Africa, but allowed to live around and hang with black South Africans, who are also poor and live in the “slum/ shanty-town/ township.” What’s even better is said aliens speak some weird alien language (of course) but understand English and do things like buy and sell weapons, listen to South African RAP MUSIC (no your eyes are not deceiving you) and engage in inter-species sex w/ the other poor human South Africans. Wow! What a life! But it’s not all fun and games people, the aliens don’t actually want to live in South Africa anymore, b/c really they didn’t want to come in the first place. I assume that their mothership ran outta gas and finding a station turned out to be a bitch, so they just kicked back instead. But oh wait, the South African government, run by mostly white people and some “acceptable” blacks, have decided that they have had enough of these aliens that they’ve put in South Africa’s version of "the projects." So they go door-to-door evicting aliens. Yes that’s what I said. Serving aliens with eviction notices, so that they can move them to other government funded housing (aka a concentration camp). What’s even sweeter is that the government also gives these poor aliens food, yes government issued canned food. What kind? Oh, well cat food of course. Awesome! Awesome indeed. Now up until this point, though I noticed the racial parallels to what I believe is a lazy version of classism inspired by apartheid (look it up if you don’t understand), I started thinking maybe I’m crazy. Maybe growing up in a cult has got my mind all thrown. And then it happened, as if Jesus himself was whispering in my ear, something so amazing took place that I almost jumped out of my seat and walked out of that damn theater. The white head of the government agency that is supposed to evict all of the aliens got a little peeved with one alien who was NOT tryna bounce up outta his spot, or sign his name on the eviction notice (which I imagine is hard to do when u have tentacles for freakin hands! I mean really!). So “The Man,” says to the alien: “A check this out, if you don’t sign your name right here, I’m gonna’ take your son down to child protective services.” Oh snap! Child protective services for aliens? Amazing. “See, that’s your name here,” The Man continues. “See, Christopher Johnson. Right there, that’s your name. That’s you.” *Blink. *Blink. *Blink. Wait what?!!!! Wait I thought this was Africa, why the hell is this alien named Christopher Johnson? Now don’t get it twisted I am aware that all Africans do not have American or European names, but my point is “Christopher Johhson!” “Christopher Johnson!” His name might as well been “Leon Jenkins” since we’re just being careless with it. I’m sure he didn’t have that name when he came off the mothership & moved into the shanty-town, so I will assume that The Man gave him that name. Now correct me if I’m wrong but this story sounds eerily familiar. Government issued housing that’s over-crowded and littered with criminals, prostitution and drugs. Not to mention the government issued food. Wow. Now I know what you’re thinking: it’s just a movie and they’re aliens. They’re not meant to be people----black people at that, it’s Africa for goodness sakes. There are black people everywhere. To that I say open up your mind Uncle Tom. Yeah I said it! If District 9 doesn’t parallel the socio-economic and racial divide in South Africa today than I don’t know what does. Essentially, from what my little sister told me on her recent trek to the motherland, there are three very obvious levels of classes in South Africa. There’s the hierarchy of people who tend to live in the nice areas of the countries near the most fab hotels and things of that nature. Then there are the middle people, some black (often of a lighter complexion) and/or mixed (with Dutch and South African), and then there are the “natives.” Those whom hold a darker complexion (more often than not) and live in some of the worst conditions that us spoiled Americans will never understand. These are the smiling faces of children kicking cans around their tin houses without a care in the world. These are our people that don’t make it to commercials to donate a $1 because they may not necessarily suffer form famine or disease. But they definitely exist, even if far removed from our reality they are there. My former boss and I had a conversation about his time in South Africa with Mr. Nelson Mandela. Now, my former boss is without a doubt the richest person that I know, he’s probably richer than a lot of rappers (just an example to parallel it to the idiots) and he told me that the conditions in the ghettos of South Africa were some of the most horrible things that his eyes have ever seen. And this, mind you, is a man that did not grow up rich, was to be the first in his family to graduate from high school, never attended college but knocked down the doors of meetings he was not expected to attend. He has sat at tables with heads of states, actors, musicians, politicians, and presidents, yet it was his trip to South Africa (and his friendship w/ Mr. Mandela) that changed his life. The point of this story is if you dare to see this movie, which I will say is pretty funny/sad/heart-wrenching aside from the racial overtones, you will be entertained. But just because you may laugh, or ogle at the amazing violence, don’t close your mind completely to the obvious parameters. Opening your mind does not mean ur a conspiracy theorist or getting “too deep.” It means that you are a critical thinker. And that my friend, is a trait to be admired.
