Ok so first, let me say where the F was I when Kathy Griffin performed at the Apollo? For those of you who don’t know, I used to live down the street but somehow I didn’t happen to see her name on the marquee. Now that could be because I try to avoid 125th street at ALL costs because I have no time for fools yelling disrespectful shiznit to me with every step I take. Yes, I’ve gotten “into it” with more than a few very disrespectful men of the blackness. So sad. But I digress. Anyway, so this funny lady named Kathy Griffin decided to perform at the Apollo and was introduced by her “friend” Reverend Al Sharpton (aka the dude with the perm). Um wtf? Is this the Twilight Zone, or are you just yanking my chain? The funniest part was Kathy getting kicked off for saying the p-word (figure out what that means children). That’s when Apollo has had enough?! “You’ve shamed the Apollo Theater” says some director dude (with bass in his voice so I’m guessing he was serious.) Yeah so she did kind of take it too far, but right outside of those doors people take it too far all day long. Case in point, one day walking towards the Apollo (I’m assuming to go shopping) some crackhead prostitute lady informed her “dealer” in not so uncertain terms that she wanted her money because she gave him a blow job. Now to a person like The Latifah who has lived in 90 cities across the country, there was no stop in my stroll. But for my little sister, who was with me at the time, she was kind of shocked. Does that shame the Apollo Theater and/or the legacy of Harlem? No, not so much huh? It doesn’t matter unless its inside your doors right? Hmm…well there was this one time when I was at the Apollo (for reasons I shall not disclose without a lawyer present), and things got a little crazy on the inside… fights broke out, David Banner yelled at me for stepping on his “$700 nikes” (which by the way I DID NOT DO DAVID BANNER. Damnit), fools were sucking down alcohol like it was going out of style, and I somehow ended up on stage. Yes, that’s what I just said. I walked on the stage at the Apollo Theater right passed the tree-stump thingy that I believe a young Michael Jackson (or as I like to call him Mikey J) rubbed before hitting the stage with those other dudes that look like him. Although I did not rub said tree-stump (germs. C’mon like you didn’t know!) It was still yet another random ass day in the life of The Latifah. So what’s the big deal Apollo? Kathy Griffin said a bad word, she didn’t know there were 50 children in the audience, I mean really. She’s a comedian so chances are she’s very sensitive so I doubt she did that on purpose. Either way, since I take joy in white people getting nervous around black people, I gotta’ tell you I laughed a little too hard. But I still love you Ms. Kathy Griffin, even if nobody else does.
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