We Get It Tory Spelling, You’re Really Really Busy

For a couple of years now I have been hiding this dirty little secret from family, friends, and the homeless dude at the intersection who routinely asks me for change when he sees me dancing in my car. But since I feel that this is a safe environment I shall face my fear: I watch Tori Spelling’s reality show. Whew! Wow, it really feels great to get that off my chest. If you’re judging me stop,….or your mom gets it! Moving right along….there is something that annoys me about the show. Besides the fact that her hubby is kind of a freeloader (ouch, that was mean. I know), she’s always complaining. “Babe I won’t see you for two whole days?” [Insert alien tears.] “So I just got a job on this random show that nobody watches but the bad thing is I won’t have one day to spend with my children.” [Insert alien tears.] “Being a mom is the most important thing ever, it has totally made me a better person to all of humanity…” cut to Tori talking a whole bunch of public ish about how she hates her mom but that its not her fault. So here’s a thought Spelling, yes your mom is crazy I can see it in her face, but the way I was raised we keep family business at home. We don’t put it in a book or on a reality show, even if the other person is doing it. That’s family business you hear me lady?

*Ahem * Ahem where was I? Oh yes, enough with the complaining. It’s so hard being a mom and having a job and working on ‘Smallville’ and ‘90210 Part deux’ w/ a nanny (who very suspiciously never seems to get a break. I’m sure that’s just editing though. I refuse to believe that T. Spelling is a slave master. She wouldn’t do that.). I mean really Tori. I mean really. How’s this for a slap in the face, single moms do the shit that you cry about all damn day long. Furthermore they do it without a big ass camera crew all up in their shit so they can complain. Oh and I’ve been on a television set or two in my day (don’t ask questions, just mind your business) yes there are long hours and yes there is a lot of waiting but guess what, unless you want to trade places with a mom in the real world; or maybe the person on the set that puts it together; or a mom that works as a waitress, I suggest you count your blessings and then shut your pie hole. And in that order please. I have OCD so it must be done in order.

That said, her little son is as adorable as me the day that I was born. The little girl too. Keep up the good work, and make your husband get a real job. Toodles!