Ok so I have been waiting all season to hear Caroline say “Let me tell you something about my family, we are as thick as thieves.” The reality gods were truly looking down on me during the Real Housewives of New Jersey finale and I couldn’t be more thankful. Although it was definitely anti-climactic, just when I was ready to throw my TV out the window crazy ass Danielle pulled out that stupid book and got shit crackin’ every which way but the right way. Good work you tight-faced psycho loser. Love it! What’s even better is that she really thought that the party was for her. Um news flash bitch: fall back, nobody cares. Kill yourself. But then again, she’s all about the drama so what more do you expect? How awesome was it that Danielle refused to get into it with Caroline? “Look at me, because I told.” Snap! Hahaha you crazy lady…didn’t expect that did you? Furthermore you were all ready to get it poppin’ with Dina and you hit a huge roadblock then fell back like a botoxed puppy. Nice! Oh and what’s up with Danielle’s freakin’ daughters acting like they were about to “stand up” for their mom? Um no, you guys are children. Just because your mom pretends that you are her girlfriend does not mean you’re adults. It means your mom is a douche bag.
Well New Jersey, you did it again. You lived up to your reputation. Stank, classless and just plain stupid. Here this and hear this well: New Jersey is NOT---I repeat—NOT poppin.’ The only people that like New Jersey are people that live there. Furthermore they secretly love to spend all of their time in “the city” (aka New York) just to pretend that their yellow ass license plates are fly. Guess what, we took a poll and turns out they’re not. Jersey is the armpit of the tri-state area. But I will say this: seeing that it is only 10 miles from my former Harlem, New York digs, best believe I was crossing that bridge to wash my clothes, hit up Trader Joes, Target and PathMark all in one swing! Good times.
Oh, and Theresa who knew you were so strong. LMAO at you picking up a table for no good reason. Can’t wait for the reunion. No seriously. I can’t wait.
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