Think I’m wrong? Well there’s a good $45 million in weekend box-office sales that would beg to differ. You probably don’t know this but I work in the movie business, and by “work” I mean I have checked the weekly box-office totals every Sunday since 2005. Yes, I’m just like Rain Man, but the difference is I don’t have Tom Cruise yelling at me and making me feel all strange and crowded. That said, I am able to remember pretty much every random box office debut of movies for the last four years. I don’t know why my brain works like this, it just does. Either way, I totally called ‘The Hangover’ being a huge success weeks ago. I’m like Yoda: I kick asses and take names, but I also give good advice. So if you haven’t seen it yet, here’s some reason why you should:
10.‘Can't Tell Me Nothin’ by Kanye ‘Live Your Life’ by T.I. and ‘In The Air Tonight’ by Phil Collins are all played in the movie. If you don’t think that shit is dope, your mom is a whore.
9. The film jumps right in, it doesn’t make you sift through meaningless bullshit for a good 30 minutes before you’re trying to help these dudes piece together their night. Strap in your seatbelt bitches, it’s gonna’ be a bumpy ride!
8. Bradley Cooper is so cute that I’m having trouble writing this without the dirty thoughts.
7. That fat little baby. Those cheeks. That hat…if I could eat a baby up, he’d definitely be my dinner. Delicious little cutie!
6. This movie is exactly what happens when you leave the strip and get to the real Vegas: Muthafuckas have day jobs, are not drunk and can be a little rude.
5. “Fat Jesus” (aka Alan) is hilarious.
4. If you’ve never woken up in Vegas missing some form of clothing and don’t remember how the fuck you made it to the room…you haven’t lived.
3. The ode to the movie ‘Rain Man’ is worth its weight in comedic gold.
2. The Asian dude from ‘Knocked Up’ does a very funny Chinese accent.
1. Two words: Mike Tyson.
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