Watching Sherri Shepherd on ‘The View’ Is Like Gauging My Eyes Out….

….it seems like a good idea at first but in the end it’s just too painful. Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, why the hell does this lady have a job?! She just might be the dumbest person on television. (Kudos to being black and being the dumbest person on television by the way. That looks great for us.) When I say dumb, I don’t mean figuratively, I mean literally. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if she has the mental capacity of an egg. Why is it that all you talk about is nonsense and Twitter? Even though Hasslebeck is all about liberal vs. conservative arguments, at least she’s informed about the damn news. Not this chick tho, the only topic that she can really speak about is being cheated on by her stupid ex-husband. I mean really, let it go. Please, I’m begging you. This is not your psychiatrist’s office—this is a morning show!

If you’re gonna’ cash the paycheck Shepherd then look alive, pick up a fucking newspaper and act like you want to get your contract renewed. No, every black woman doesn’t have to argue and snap her neck to get her point across (um hello does Whoopi Goldberg mean anything to you?) but pretend to know what the fuck is going on in the world. I may be totally crossing the line here, which doesn’t matter to me, but I’m gonna’ go out on a limb and say that her retarded world view is a direct result of her Jehova’s witness upbringing. Yeah I said it! Send your hate mail letters to 1234 Latifah St. Apt. Latifah Anytown, USA 00000.

Although I spent most of my life hiding from the witnesses of Jehova when they knocked on my door like the police (apparently they don’t like Muslims so I figured I was doing them a favor). Every once in a while I opened up, or my mom/bodyguard opened up. What happened you may ask? A whole bunch of cult ass backwards ass mess. Seeing as how I grew up in a cult myself, game recognizes game. Still don’t believe me? Two words: Micheal Jackson.

If you decide to stop sulking over your dilapidated marriage, or log off your Twitter page for five minutes and read this blog post Shepherd, just know that this is out of love. Oh and if you don’t get your shit together and stop saying dumb shit, I will be forced to stone you. You don’t want those type of troubles. Trust.