If you’re like me you spent less time watching the finale of America Idol and more time getting drunk as a funkin’ skunk in some random ass Los Angeles club next door to the ‘Dance Flick’ premier. Oh by the way, I saw you Keenan Ivory Wayans with that white chick from ‘The Game’. My boo (I mean ex boo….the horror!!!) told me you guys were getting it on real jungle fever like all up and through the Sherman Oaks 24 Hour Fitness Gym…but you ain’t heard that from me.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, that America Idol finale. So for a good 10 minutes I watched the finale only to take to the AP (known to mere mortals as the Associated Press) to find out who won early. So Mr. Guy who wanted Adam Lambert to win, let me be the first to tell you congratulations. Although I have no idea who you are I love the fact that you just randomly decided to audition for Idol as a “road-trip thing” and you just got lucky. You know what luck to me is? Finding a fuckin’ dollar in my fuckin’ jeans. THAT my friend is a good day! But I digress. The point is what part of the game is this? You just stumble in, not really even caring and you end up winning the whole damn show? Especially when that Adam dude always dressed for the occasion, asked for extra eyeliner, painted his nails all pretty then hit crazy high notes even when the song didn’t call for it---yet you won. Wtf? I don’t know about you but I’d rather that American Idol fall the fuck back. But since it doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere what the fuck is up with dudes winning shit when they could care less? I’ve been living my life that way for years and I have yet to win a fucking thing! This is bogus. I’m done talking.
P.S. CW network you are an official douche. Thanks for canceling ‘The Game’ now I will be forced to thrash you.
P.P.S. Why is Lionel Richie on The Tonight Show? I am going to egg you when I see you Lionel Richie. Now more than ever I’m convinced that the apocalypse is upon us. Rats.
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