Ok so here’s the thing, because I’m home all day writing up your favorite news stories and interviewing some of your favorite artists, I have a lot of down time. What do I do to fill such time? Watch Maury Povich and then hate myself for doing so. Today’s episode was extra juicy (and by juicy I mean brought me one step closer to gouging my eyes out): Too Much Sex and Fighting Teen Girls Confronted! As if that title wasn’t daring enough, of course the guests took it to a whole other level. The one who stuck out the most was Akiyah. A 15 year old who slept with over 20 or 50 (can’t remember) men, plus had like three miscarriages, and maybe gave birth to an alien baby. Who knows. Anyway, the best thing about this child was that she looked at Maury like he was an idiot (wait, she may be on to something actually). “Am I having un-protected sex? Of course. Duh!” Now I may be overshooting it, but from what I’ve seen of this young lady she seems like an amazing person.
To add insult to injury she was like beating her mom and telling her to shut-up. So what do you ask is the remedy for such wayward behavior? Getting drill sergeants to scream at every girl while being so close they can swap spit. Even though I have been (secretly) watching this show for years I keep scolding myself. Why do I like this stuff? Why do I hate myself? Why am I sitting in the fucking house all day watching Maury? So to you Mr. Maury Povich-Chung I say you are clever indeed. Killing my brain cells off one by one with all these paternity test, teen sex romps, and “man or woman?” shows? Clever indeed.
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