Now I know what you’re thinking, this blog is called Latifah and the Boob Tube, not Latifah and the Music industry. To that I say mind your own business, it’s my blog and I can write whatever I want. I chose to pit these two eclectically dressed female vixens who both choose to “just say no” to pants against each other because I’m bored. After visiting a couple of blogs, one showing Lady Gaga’s Rolling Stone cover, and the other showing Katy Perry’s Complex Magazine shoot I decided to wage a war. Though I understand that their music is different, they both get the gays going in your favorite rainbow club, and that to me says staying power. Really though, I just think that Lady Gaga is fuckin’ lame. Yes, I like her wigs…and her new weave in her latest video shot on the Blue Line fake “subway” in LA which I affectionately nicknamed: The Devil’s Choo Choo Train. But other than that?…I got nothing. Peep this bitch, just because you’re a weird ass Italian chick who calls herself Gaga as a tribute to Queen’s Radio Ga-Ga, does not make you tight. Listen up Stefanie Joanne Angelina Germanotta, you’re still a douche. But you can sing and I will therefore allot you one free minute of praise on The Latifah’s blog. However, the coupon is not redeemable at all locations, so make sure you read the fine print. A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, put this Gaga lady’s ‘Poker Face’ song as her ringback tone. Wtf? Are you kidding me? A world where one minute it’s Gaga and the next it’s Lil Wayne is a world that I cannot live in. Seriously, is it just me or does all of her fucking songs sound the same? And no I don’t mean merely the disco/rave strobe-light beats, I’m talking about melody, incessant hooks…the whole nine. It’s all too “put together” and thus too stupid for a woman of my advanced musical brain waves. In 20 years bitches are going to remember the night they snorted a line of coke to “Just Dance” by that chick who always wore leotards…what’s her name again? Um yeah Gaga that’s your future. That said please soak up the limelight, continue to wear stupid looking hats and pretend that they are art-deco or artistic when really you’re just trying to be “different” by wearing the most outrageous shit you can think of. For what it’s worth tho Stefanie I will say that some of your outfits are cute, and thus there are things that only you can rock (which is indeed craft…one that Beyonce has yet to perfect). When it comes to everything else, no I will not lick your ass like all these other lost bitches around here. Since I work in the "music industry" I have been getting bombarded with copies of your first single since I moved to NYC in 2006. That shit was trash to me then and that shit is trash to me now. Just because someone plays a character and is thus always in character does not means she’s cool. It means that she’s just as nerdy and insecure as your are.
Now when it comes to Katy Perry? That’s a whole different story. Besides consistently rocking arguably some of the sickest stilettos I’ve seen in years, K.P. is bad ass. Her fucking parents were traveling ministers! If that shit ain’t fuckin gangsta I don’t know what the fuck is. Matter-fact, let me be the first to say that that shit is more gangsta than having an Italian name and being totally removed from reality Gaga. Yeah I said that shit. To make matters even more off the fuckin hook, Katy Perry’s parents were straight up NOT feeling her break-out single ‘I Kissed A Girl’ & what the fuck did she do? She fuckin embraced that shit, AND used her mom’s maiden name to create HER stage name. Katy Perry is a fuckin pimp. Then there’s Travis, the tattooed, pierced, wavy haired wonder who rapped then sung his way into my heart with a little ditty called ‘Cupid’s Chokehold.’ Katy Perry was tappin’ that shit for years, way before bitches like Lady Gaga finally felt strong enough to take her circus act on the road. Fall back bitch, there’s a new sheriff in town and in-case you ain’t know, she’s strapped w/ a leotard, 7-inch heels and a jet-black bob haircut that is only rivaled by Uma Thurman in ‘Pulp Fiction.’ Katy Perry you are the shit, now if you’ll excuse me, I must rob you for your shoes. Just put them in the bag, and nobody gets hurt.
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