Man this feels just like a crack addiction (from what I’ve heard). Up at all hours of the night, can’t wait to get some more….Gotta get this Real Housewives of New Jersey monkey off my back. Riddle me this weird old lady with the tight leather-colored face---birth name Danielle-- what is the point of being with a young dude if he looks like an old dude? I mean really, where are the perks here? He’s fat and balding. He might as well be 40! Oh wait, and did you just say: “I mean I have the pussy.” Blink* Blink* Blink* Did that just really happen or is my mind playing tricks on me? Oh and what about this same crazy lady bustin’ all up and thru Jacqueline and Theresa’s play date. Wtf lady?! Do you not know when people don’t like you? Clearly, I just answered my own question. Why are you even questioning if you should break-up with your young/old boyfriend? Have you not seen him? Wait, have you not seen yourself. This is craziness!
Then what’s with the flip-out? Like lady what side of the fence are you trying to ride here? The sexy old lady who’s face looks too tight, and thinks young guys really love her…when secretly she’s insecure no matter what age the guy is? Or do you want to play mom/housewife? Pick a side and stay on it, you’re making my head hurt.
In other news, who woulda thought that the housewife that I would like the most is the scary Sopranos one? (Who by the way said she’s does not appreciate such a reference so me just writing that puts me in fear of getting “whacked”). Like me, and the rest of America, she thinks that Danielle is a straight up psycho. Now if I could just get her realize that living in New Jersey is as crappy as a porto-potty in Times Square, we could actually be friends.
I however do not appreciate Bravo teasing me and ultimately tricking me into thinking that THIS was the episode where “all fake people will be revealed”---or something like that. Instead the whole episode just flew buy. Matter fact I think I remember the stage-mom lady taking daughter Gia’s pics to an agent who demanded that she wipe the New Jersey stink off those photos and come back more prepared. I also think I remember somebody getting a lame ass white Jeep Cherokee (aren’t you guys rich? Wtf?). Either way, hurry up and roll thru Tuesday, June 2, 2009, so I can get the hit that I’ve been waiting for! I need to go to rehab….but Amy Winehouse said “No! No! No!” and from what I’ve seen of her pics in St. Lucia she is clearly a role model.
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